I’m a bad dog mom. I have the cutest, fluffiest little nugget of a puppy and I suck at raising him. Why didn’t anyone tell me that puppy parenthood would be this hard?
When I was a kid, I used to be terrified of dogs. No matter the size or breed, the mere sight of a dog would lead me to cower in fear. As I got older I was no longer scared of dogs; I was merely ambivalent to them. This phase of general apathy lasted through college. I’d frequently tell friends: “If I wanted a dog, I’d just have a baby.” Because having a dog seemed like just as much work, except a dog never learns how to potty on the toilet, clean up after itself, or make its own meals.
However, a few months ago, I was feeling the urge to nest. I wanted to come home from work to be greeted by smiles and cuddles and a companion who would always be by my side. So what did I do? Had a baby. LOL JK. Obviously there was no chance I was having a child, so I had to contradict my former self and settle for a puppy. I spent weeks and weeks researching different breeds, looking at photos, and preparing to take the leap. Too bad no amount of research could prepare me for the nightmare that is potty training, the hassle of being woken up at 5am by puppy whines, the endless chewing on shoes and nipping on toes, and did I mention the nightmare that is potty training? Because I’m really tired of scrubbing my floors after Giant decides to drop a deuce in the living room or take a whizz under the dining room table. Oy vey.
I really thought my maternal instinct would kick in and that naturally I’d be a fantastic dog mom. I’m loving, nurturing, and have tons of experience with babies. But dogs are not babies, as my mom likes to remind me every time I swaddle Giant in a blanket and rock him around the living room. Wishful thinking clearly isn’t that effective.
So what’s the moral of the story? I’m a bad dog mom. I am failing at potty training and creating a routine sleep schedule, and puppy parenthood is infringing on my freedom to travel…and sleep in till whenever I want. It’s not for lack of trying. Every day I wake up armed with the enthusiasm to make puppy parenthood great again. I may be failing a lot and learning as I go, but judging from my Facebook feed, that doesn’t seem too different from real parenthood anyways.
Fellow puppy parents come one, come all! Please tell me how you raise your dogs without pulling out your hair!